Plans Change
Hello wonderful readers,
Happy Monday!
Somehow it is already the last full week in June and I cannot believe it. June has seemed to fly by quickly.
This past week, I celebrated my twenty-fifth trip around the sun. Twenty-five years on the beautiful planet we are fortunate to call home.
I had many people ask me "do you feel older?" I honestly have no idea how to answer this question year after year. You think by now I would have come up with a witty response, but I still never know what to say. I believe age is just a number; it's how you feel that truly matters. I didn't feel any older when I celebrated my birthday last week, but the higher power that lives above has a way of humbling us.
Before I celebrated my birthday last Wednesday, I began not feeling well. I would get light headed at the most random times, I would get super nauseous because I could be sitting and feel as though I had just gotten off a marry-go-round, and my fatigue seemed to suck any energy I had stored within my being. Talk about a wonderful way to kick off my birthday week!
Since my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis in January 2017, I am very in tune with the sensations that arise within my body. If I notice something feels off, I take a mental note (or sometimes I take a literal note and date it so I remember the sensation that arose). These symptoms persisted throughout the week as I continued with my routine. If any symptom persists more than two to three consecutive days, I am to call my neurologist.
He summoned me in right away to do an exam and to discuss my new symptoms. Luckily, my exam went well and nothing unusual came up, but that left us with more questions than answers. This seems to happen to so many individuals when traveling through their health journey.
"Why is this going on now?"
"Did I do something to cause this?"
"What can I do to feel better?"
"I thought I was on the up-and-up, is this a minor set back or is something larger going on?"
"It's my birthday week for Pete's sake, couldn't this come up another time?"
"I am sick of being sick!"
These are just some of the thoughts that began to circle within my mind.
All of these questions are unanswerable of course, but it didn't stop them from surfacing. I like to try and keep this space very positive, but I would be lying if I said I was feeling or thinking anything positive at this moment in time.
By the time the weekend rolled around, I was still not feeling entirely better, but I was to watch my symptoms and see if anything exacerbated them or if there was a trend.
Trevor and I went to visit our very dear friends in the Milwaukee area to take part in 108 sun salutations to kick off the summer solstice.
Yoga has a beautiful way of grounding me and connecting me with everything that surrounds. Trevor and I got there with just the right amount of time and as I was getting out of the car when my back started to flare up.
I have had this happen to me a few times in the past where my back has this "stuck" sensation and whenever I move, it sends pain signals to my mind which halts me in my tracks. I haven't had this feeling in months, so right when I stepped out of the car, I felt defeated. I felt as though I was an air balloon and someone had let all of the air out of me.
I did my best to stand up straight and put a smile on my face as we were spending time with some of our closest friends. I was able to complete the 108 sun salutations at my own pace and modifying tremendously.
So, why am I telling you this story about my birthday week, my symptoms in relation to MS, and my back acting up?
I was reminded again that the plans we make, the schedules we set up for ourselves can be changed in the blink of an eye. What we once thought was, can be changed within a moment.
This is a blessing and a curse, but it is up to us to chose how we see it.
We cannot control what happens to us, but we can control how we chose to respond or react to it.
We can cry, scream, whine, run a mile, or shake our fists if that is what we feel we need to do to get our frustration out. I am not telling anyone to hold their feelings in, they are your feelings and you are entitled to them.
I have thrown myself a cry party and this week it was legitimately my birthday! (Pun intended)
I have screamed into a pillow more times than I am willing to publicly admit.
I have let out my feelings so they do not fester within my being and eat me from the inside out. I have learned to throw on a smile because it makes me feel better, but I have not forgotten my feelings or asked for help along the way.
We all go through really, really tough losses in our life.
We all experience sadness as this is a human emotion.
We should be there for each other to lift one another up rather than shame each other for our feelings.
If you or someone you know is going through something right now, let them know you are there. Be a shoulder to cry on if you can be, be a non-judging ear for them to vent to if you can, simply tell them you love them.
If you do not feel as though you can be a sturdy, supportive person for another person, ask for help yourself.
You are never alone, never, ever. I know it can feel like it at times, but it is our job as human beings to be there for one another especially through the toughest of times.
We need to be there for one another through it all.
Because if we don't have each other, if we do not have the love and support we know we need, then what do we really have?
I want you to know you are loved, and you are always supported, no matter where you are right now.
I love you.
Have a great week readers.
Subscribe, comment and share.Together, we rise. One breath at a time.Namasté
P.S. I hope you are all getting excited for the fun news I will be sharing super soon on the blog!!! Stay tuned to find out what I have going on behind the scenes for all of you!
Happy Monday!
Somehow it is already the last full week in June and I cannot believe it. June has seemed to fly by quickly.
This past week, I celebrated my twenty-fifth trip around the sun. Twenty-five years on the beautiful planet we are fortunate to call home.
I had many people ask me "do you feel older?" I honestly have no idea how to answer this question year after year. You think by now I would have come up with a witty response, but I still never know what to say. I believe age is just a number; it's how you feel that truly matters. I didn't feel any older when I celebrated my birthday last week, but the higher power that lives above has a way of humbling us.
Before I celebrated my birthday last Wednesday, I began not feeling well. I would get light headed at the most random times, I would get super nauseous because I could be sitting and feel as though I had just gotten off a marry-go-round, and my fatigue seemed to suck any energy I had stored within my being. Talk about a wonderful way to kick off my birthday week!
Since my diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis in January 2017, I am very in tune with the sensations that arise within my body. If I notice something feels off, I take a mental note (or sometimes I take a literal note and date it so I remember the sensation that arose). These symptoms persisted throughout the week as I continued with my routine. If any symptom persists more than two to three consecutive days, I am to call my neurologist.
He summoned me in right away to do an exam and to discuss my new symptoms. Luckily, my exam went well and nothing unusual came up, but that left us with more questions than answers. This seems to happen to so many individuals when traveling through their health journey.
"Why is this going on now?"
"Did I do something to cause this?"
"What can I do to feel better?"
"I thought I was on the up-and-up, is this a minor set back or is something larger going on?"
"It's my birthday week for Pete's sake, couldn't this come up another time?"
"I am sick of being sick!"
These are just some of the thoughts that began to circle within my mind.
All of these questions are unanswerable of course, but it didn't stop them from surfacing. I like to try and keep this space very positive, but I would be lying if I said I was feeling or thinking anything positive at this moment in time.
By the time the weekend rolled around, I was still not feeling entirely better, but I was to watch my symptoms and see if anything exacerbated them or if there was a trend.
Trevor and I went to visit our very dear friends in the Milwaukee area to take part in 108 sun salutations to kick off the summer solstice.
Yoga has a beautiful way of grounding me and connecting me with everything that surrounds. Trevor and I got there with just the right amount of time and as I was getting out of the car when my back started to flare up.
I have had this happen to me a few times in the past where my back has this "stuck" sensation and whenever I move, it sends pain signals to my mind which halts me in my tracks. I haven't had this feeling in months, so right when I stepped out of the car, I felt defeated. I felt as though I was an air balloon and someone had let all of the air out of me.
I did my best to stand up straight and put a smile on my face as we were spending time with some of our closest friends. I was able to complete the 108 sun salutations at my own pace and modifying tremendously.
So, why am I telling you this story about my birthday week, my symptoms in relation to MS, and my back acting up?
I was reminded again that the plans we make, the schedules we set up for ourselves can be changed in the blink of an eye. What we once thought was, can be changed within a moment.
This is a blessing and a curse, but it is up to us to chose how we see it.
We cannot control what happens to us, but we can control how we chose to respond or react to it.
We can cry, scream, whine, run a mile, or shake our fists if that is what we feel we need to do to get our frustration out. I am not telling anyone to hold their feelings in, they are your feelings and you are entitled to them.
I have thrown myself a cry party and this week it was legitimately my birthday! (Pun intended)
I have screamed into a pillow more times than I am willing to publicly admit.
I have let out my feelings so they do not fester within my being and eat me from the inside out. I have learned to throw on a smile because it makes me feel better, but I have not forgotten my feelings or asked for help along the way.
We all go through really, really tough losses in our life.
We all experience sadness as this is a human emotion.
We should be there for each other to lift one another up rather than shame each other for our feelings.
If you or someone you know is going through something right now, let them know you are there. Be a shoulder to cry on if you can be, be a non-judging ear for them to vent to if you can, simply tell them you love them.
If you do not feel as though you can be a sturdy, supportive person for another person, ask for help yourself.
You are never alone, never, ever. I know it can feel like it at times, but it is our job as human beings to be there for one another especially through the toughest of times.
We need to be there for one another through it all.
Because if we don't have each other, if we do not have the love and support we know we need, then what do we really have?
I want you to know you are loved, and you are always supported, no matter where you are right now.
I love you.
Subscribe, comment and share.Together, we rise. One breath at a time.Namasté
P.S. I hope you are all getting excited for the fun news I will be sharing super soon on the blog!!! Stay tuned to find out what I have going on behind the scenes for all of you!
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