R & R - Rx. Reality

Hello wonderful readers,

I want to start this post by thanking all of you for reading and sharing last week’s blog post. I was again overwhelmed by the love and support that I received in person and online. Having all of your love and support makes writing worthwhile, and I cannot thank you enough. Because of all of you, I am still writing and still sharing.
Thank you!

For this week’s topic I am going to dive into the “second” meaning of the title of this blog, Ms., and share with you Trevor and I’s story. This worked out in perfect timing, because yesterday Trevor and I celebrated our one year wedding anniversary, so it seems fitting to share our story today!

I am going to preface this post by stating this story of Trevor and I is from my point of view. He does help me edit my posts every week, but this story will be told from my account on how we met, interacted, and later, fell in love. Who knows, maybe in later posts I will have Trevor take over the blog and share our story from his point of view, stay tuned and you shall see!

Trevor and I’s story began our freshman year at Lakeland College, which has recently changed to Lakeland University. Trevor will tell you our first interactions were actually our first semester of freshman year, but after all, this is from my point of view, and our interactions from my eyes began our second semester in Public Speaking, with our wonderful professor, John M. The first time I truly saw Trevor was the first day of class when I arrived early, (I was always taught “if you aren’t early, you’re late”) so I was sitting waiting for class to start. Trevor walked in with one of his buddies chatting away, wearing a t-shirt and shorts trying to look like an average person, but one could clearly tell he was a football player solely based on his size. Trevor continued to walk into class with his friend when I looked up briefly from my notebook to see that he was in the class. Trevor and I had not had much interaction before this, but I had heard some things about him prior to meeting him (I mean it was a small college and people share), but I had not paid much attention to the silly stories people shared, so it was my time to formulate my own opinion about him. My first initial reaction to Trevor was that he was very cute, and very fit. I did have a boyfriend at the time, so I was not looking for anyone romantically, but I had a good feeling about this athletic guy who had entered the classroom. We would continue through the semester taking public speaking together, and one of the first speeches Trevor would give was on history. Trevor LOVES history, so he picked a topic he was very passionate about. For this particular assignment, we had a time limit to present the speech of about eight minutes, and to put into perspective just how passionate Trevor is about history, his speech went close to twelve minutes long and he was slightly downgraded for going over the time limit. This speech sparked my interest with Trevor because he had a brain inside that head of his. He was more than just a stereotypical football player that doesn’t’ care about school.

The semester in public speaking continued and Trevor and I would grow closer just by casual conversations in class and being freshmen in college who were looking to meet new people at the school. I am, what some people would call, a nerd. I love school and everything about school. I found public speaking to be an extremely fun class because I got the opportunity to research topics and present them to others the way I wanted to. I know, nerdy right? J
So I too was very passionate about some of the topics I did presentations on. In class we also had discussions, so we were able to speak publically about ethical dilemmas in a non-attacking way. I believe this was in preparation for a debate speech we were going to do with another classmate, but none-the-less, we were discussing topics. John presented the class with the topic of animal rights. If you know me, this is one of my “hot button” topic because I have a deep love for animals and their welfare. John presented us with the topic where a group of animal activists broke into a lab where animal testing was being conducted and let the animals out, and burned down the building. I remember this conversation becoming slightly headed and the group in the scenario were labeled as “environmental terrorists”, so of course, because I was defending their actions, I inherited this new nickname by Trevor and his friends in class. We later discussed another hot topic where I accumulated another new nick name by Trevor and other students in the class. So you can see, Trevor and I were interacting a lot in this class and I was accumulating funny nick names, almost as though we were in preschool again. I can now see this as flirting, but at the time, it was really all fun and games.

I loved going into public speaking because I knew I would be able to interact with Trevor, and have a good laugh during class. As I mentioned previously, I was in a relationship at this time, so the interactions between Trevor and I were strictly friendly. I mean all of our interactions did take place in the classroom. Something else that was occurring our second semester freshman year was that Trevor and I were applying to be Residents Assistants on campus. I was not aware he was applying to be an RA until he walked into the group interview process and saw him. I wasn’t entirely shocked to see him applying since I knew a little about him, but I was excited about the opportunity to possibly work with him and get to know him more throughout the upcoming year.

Trevor and I were both hired as RA’s for the upcoming year. I would be an RA in an all-female dorm, and Trevor would be an RA in an all-male dorm. Our freshman year would end shortly after we received these positions, but sophomore year would begin in no time. As an RA, we had to come back from summer vacation early to complete training. All of the RA’s would train together for the first two weeks and spend time on campus getting to know one another and learning how to be a good RA. Trevor and I would continue to get to know one another better and that we were both Communication majors, so we would be seeing, and spending a lot of time together, especially in the classroom.

Sophomore year would continue, and I would find myself in a position where I was asked to train Trevor to be a campus ambassador-which is a tour guide on campus. I was hired as a campus ambassador my second semester freshman year, and Trevor was hired his first semester sophomore year. As “experienced” ambassadors, we were put in charge of three to five new ambassadors to train. Trevor was in full swing of playing football, so he wasn’t able to make a lot of the scheduled meeting times, so we met at other times to go over the material. I recall one particular time where Trevor asked me to meet him at the dorm he worked in so we could go over the training material in the common space. We were texting and he asked me to stop up by his room because he was putting some clothes away. I walked to the second floor where Trevor was an RA and his door was wide open for me to walk in. I slowly entered the room as Trevor was finishing folding laundry. Stepping foot in his room I instantly felt something shift, which I now realize to be the “butterfly” sensation that so many people refer to. But I was still in a relationship, and he was in a relationship at this time too, so I brushed off the sensation to be nothing. Trevor and I would continue to get to know one another through working as RA’s and taking all of our communication classes together. Sophomore year would end, and Junior year would be quickly approaching.

Trevor was hired as an RA in the suites on campus, and I was hired as an RA in the apartments (on exact opposite sides of campus). Working in the upper class dormitories, we were asked to pick someone to be our “second duty RA” and be a back-up for the year. Of course, Trevor and I chose one another because, by this time, we were close friends and respected one another’s help in stressful situations. We were still taking all of our communication classes with each other, so as you can see, we were spending a great deal of time together.

Our relationship would continue to grow where Trevor and I would study in groups together, having countless inside jokes, some of the same close friends, and very similar interests. BUT, we were both still in relationships with other people. I was not in the best relationship at that time (not that he was a bad person by any means, we just weren’t right for one another), and I would often times turn to Trevor for “guy advice”. Trevor was also in a relationship where he would need a girl’s point of view, so naturally he turned to me for lady advice. We were constantly going to one another asking “What am I doing wrong? Am I crazy? How would you respond to this?” and the other person would share their thoughts and insight on what they would do. Trevor and I were still strictly just friends (anyone that says men and women can’t be just friends is silly because Trevor and I were just friends…At this point in time at least. J). Junior year would end faster than all years prior and senior year would be starting shortly after that.

Our last year in college, actually my last semester in college since I was able to graduate a semester early, something vastly changed. The summer before senior year began, my long term boyfriend and I broke-up and went our separate ways, and Trevor’s and my relationship as friends was extremely strong. Since we were still RA’s, we arrived two weeks before school started so there was a very limited amount of students on campus. All of the RA’s that were on campus would get together and hang out during the evenings playing cards, catching up, and so on. The first night back on campus there was a large group of RA’s and football player (since they are on campus early as well) hanging out in Trevor’s apartment playing cards. This evening is another example of where I felt another shift inside with my feelings for Trevor. I wasn’t seeing anyone at the time, so I was able to actually listen to this sensation and realize that this internal shift was feelings of affection toward Trevor, and they weren’t feelings of friendly affection anymore. I was seeing Trevor in a new light and he looked even better than before. There was one slight problem, he was still in a relationship and I am not a home-wrecker, so I kept my feelings to myself.

Trevor and I would continue to work together before all of the students arrived on campus for the school year. One night we were going through and doing room checks together. Trevor was in one room of the apartment and I was in another part looking over everything from floor to ceiling. Trevor was playing country music, which I am very fond of, and he was singing along. I knew Trevor was a phenomenal singer, but hearing him sing this time, I continued to have these “more than friends” feelings, but I still couldn’t say anything. His girlfriend at the time called him this very evening and they got into a little argument on the phone while we were completing room checks. I was trying not to listen to the conversation while it was occurring and when Trevor got off the phone, he simply said “this is not getting any better. I really do not want to spend my last year in college doing this”. Being his friend, I asked him to explain what had been going on and if I could help in anyway. Trevor discussed wanting to possibly break up with his girlfriend at the time, and I told him to follow his heart, trying to be as non-biased as possible.

A few days after this night, Trevor and his girlfriend would end their relationship because things weren’t working. Possibly at exact same time, all of these “more than friend” feelings were bursting inside of me, so I turned to my best friend at the time to tell her. I let her know how I no longer saw Trevor as a friend and how I had these deep seeded feelings for him. I went on to explain to her that I couldn’t express this to him out of respect for his current girlfriend. Alexis, my best friend who I was discussing this with over dinner, simply smiled and told me that I might be able to express these feelings to him sooner than I might think. I found out the next day that Trevor was no longer dating anyone, but I was still too nervous to say anything because I didn’t want to risk our amazing friendship. After continuing to hang out together in groups, this intense feelings I was encountering seemed to not just be mine anymore, there seemed to be a shift with Trevor’s actions towards me as well.

Funny enough, Trevor would go to my exact friend, Alexis, and share with her that he had feelings for me and wanted to be more than friends. Alexis, being the wonderful woman she is, told him that he and I really needed to have a conversation. But Trevor and I didn’t really need to sit down and discuss our feelings for one another, we already knew there was something more between us. One evening Trevor and I planned to watch a movie together. This was the first time since both of us were single that we hung out together. We watched Despicable Me, the movie was clearly my choice, and pretty much had our first date right on campus. From that moment forward, Trevor and I were a couple. We later put a label on our relationship and became boyfriend and girlfriend. We had multiple friends come up to us and tell us they knew something more was between us, and Trevor and I would just roll our eyes and tell them “sure you did”.

Before finishing college a semester early, I would toy with the idea of staying one more semester, just to be with Trevor. I still chose to finish my college career a semester early, and luckily get a job in the area so I was able to see Trevor daily. Trevor and I continued to date as he finished college and we would move into our first apartment together since he got a job at the same company I worked for. Things just seemed to continue to work out in our favor as a couple, this form of dating seemed so easy, I mean after all, I was dating my best friend.

Trevor and I would continue to deepen our relationship and become engaged just a year after we officially became boyfriend and girlfriend. Within a year of being engaged, Trevor and I became husband and wife a year and one day a year ago on August 13^th, 2016. Some people may read this and say “that was all very quick!” But when you are best friends for many years, and you know you found your soulmate, it actually wasn’t fast enough.

Trevor and I have a very special bond with one another that cannot be broken. We were best friends before dating, (which doesn’t happen as often as it should anymore) we communicate our feelings to one another all of the time, (it helps that we studied communication together), we have been through a lot together (we don’t let these obstacles stand in our way, but we grow closer together because of them), and we are never stop trying to win the other one over.

When I look at Trevor, it’s as though I get a glimpse of my heart outside of my chest. I truly believe God made Trevor to be my husband, and God made me to be Trevor’s wife. Trevor is my heart and my soul, my biggest and great accomplishment, and my one true love. I am beyond blessed to be able to travel through this journey we call life with my best friend and the love of my life.
Trevor will forever be my always.

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